Last night we went to a concert at The Purcell Room on South Bank.
We were excited because it was a concert of baroque chamber music, our favorite. It was a gorgeous evening to walk over Waterloo Bridge to South Bank, as you can see in the photos. Our tickets were in the first row which was also exciting.
Our excitement ended at about 30 seconds into the concert. What a mess. I don't often go on and on about a bad concert. Actually, we rarely see bad ones. But this was just too amazingly bad.
I don't want to name names because the performers are probably friends of friends and I don't want to upset anybody. But, wow, it was terrible. They were the most unmusical collection of "professional" musicians I've ever heard. I've heard amateurs with more musical sensitivity and expression. The harpsichordist clanged his way through some Couperin and his accompaniment on the other pieces was sloppy and... unmusical is the only way I can explain it.
The main performer, who played every wind instrument and probably the kitchen sink too, was completely unmusical. One of the problems with musicians who play every instrument in an intrumental family is they end up playing none of them well. But that wasn't his big problem. His real problem was his complete lack of musicality. His phrasing was nonexistent. He blundered his way through the music, making even the Bach unrecognisable.
Even worse, he did this kind of puffing up his cheeks and letting out a combination sigh/huff after finishing each movement. He made lots of huffing/puffing noises which at first I thought may have been because he actually was out of breath but then he did it before playing as well so it was really just an obnoxious affectation. Someone needs to tell him to knock it off and at least pretend to act like a professional. Oh, and he also read these "cute and amusing" little stories about obscure 18th century musicians before a couple of the pieces that didn't have anything to do with the composer of the piece they were playing so what was the point? Perhaps to distract us from his bad playing.
Then, John and I couldn't believe our eyes, right before he started the final movement for the last piece of the first half, he rolled up his eyes and made a face that is hard to describe but was something like: "dear god, let this be over soon, I can't stand being here, I'd rather be anywhere else." Well, that's certainly what I was thinking, maybe he heard me telepathically.
I guess the real evidence is that the audience finished applauding before the performers left the stage. I'm not sure I've ever seen that happen. We left at the interval (intermission) and were pleased to be able to walk back over the bridge while it was still light outside on such a lovely evening.
It could have been worse, sometimes we're trapped at a disaster and there's no interval. Whew!


